Friday, July 9, 2010

A trip to the dentist really does deserve a blog post

Although I already did a facebook status update about our little family trip to the dentist, and although I haven't done a blog post about the significant things in our families lives receintly (you know, July 4th, the weather finally getting warm, my kids doing swimming lessons, basketball camp, tennis camp, my parents taking them to the Lion King, the fireworks tent, basically yadda, yadda, yadda) I'm going to actually do a blog post about the twice yearly family trip to the dentist. The important stuff. You know you could quit reading right now and save yourself...

Yesterday, July 8th, 3:00.

The plan is all 5 Pate family members that currently have teeth that protrude from their gums will go together to the dentist. Honestly, Dr. Monnes and his staff are beautiful people for making this happen. We begin by getting Reagan up from a nap to pop her and Camden in the car. Andrew was picking up Ainsley and Hudson from tennis camp at Cascade and just meeting us there. The plan was I would send their toothbrushes with him so they could brush their teeth at the club before showing up at the dentist. I forgot. I also forgot to brush my own teeth before I went. Oops.

So, I put Reagan in her car seat and hand her the little pringle like container that has Gerber "banana puffs" inside. She has had cherrios and these little puffs a handful of times now and really likes them, I break each one in half and give them to her one at a time. I am nothing if not vigilant when it comes to choking hazards. I was impressed as we were driving to the dentist at how quiet she was, and Camden fell asleep on the way so it was a lovely little drive. I should have known, when I park and open her door she has managed to get the lid off the puffs and has dumped the entire container out on herself in her carseat. She is shoving handfulls of the puffs in her mouth and has wet saliva soaked puffs smashed all over and in her hair. Awesome. So much for the choking hazard thing. Bonus, now I know I don't have to break them in half for her anymore. I take her out of her car seat, pick up as many as I can and salvage them back in the container, shake the rest out onto the rock parking lot ground. Your welcome birds.

I have to tutor at 4:30 so I ask when we go in if I could be the first one to be taken back. I'm assuming that means they will take me, then a kid or two and then I will leave while Andrew and any remaining children have their turn. I take Reagan back with me, my plan being I would just give her puffs one at a time while I was getting my teeth cleaned and that would keep her occupied. She of course has had all the fun she wants with the puffs and instantly is not okay with just sitting there. So I begin my cleaning with her on my lap. I'm holding her tummy and back with both hands and she is sitting just above my knees. I'm trying to keep her facing away from me and as far down as I can reach, because she is obsessed with trying to get the little paper bib I have on. It must be exciting to see someone else wearing a bib. Now, my hygienist is a very sweet woman, but I must tease her a little here because she kept saying to me, "hold on tight, you don't want her to fall on the floor." Really? You think that would be a bad idea? Okay- if you really think so, I'll try and keep that from happening.

Now, just as she has started the lovely scraping (did I mention I forgot to brush my teeth?) I hear them bringing Andrew back, and then I hear Ainsley coming back too. Wait!!! There were only three open chairs. Are you getting what that means? Despite having a sharp object in my mouth I knew what it meant. The three members of the family that can take care of the other three members will all be lying down, staring at the ceiling, with instruments in their mouths unable to tell the other members things like, "DON'T TOUCH THAT DRILL, AND NO!!! DON'T USE THE X-RAY MACHINE!"

I actually have to give the boys credit. They did a lovely job. Although at first I totally panicked. First they hung around Andrew's chair, for about 2 minutes, before moving over to mine. So I was holding Reagan and of course Camden had to climb up on me too. She was trying so hard to get to the shiny sharp objects and my bib and Camden was trying to count my teeth. When we talk to him about going to the dentist we tell him that the dentist has to count his teeth so he has to make a big alligator mouth. So he kept telling me that I was making a good alligator mouth so he would count my teeth so Dr. "Mommis" wouldn't have to. He repeatedly asked the hygienist to move out of his way, she was totally interrupting his important business. As this was going on Hudson was standing over me asking me questions, "Mom, when are we going to be done? Can Colby come over when we get home? What did I get Alec for his birthday present? When I go to Alec's party tonight will I miss dinner at the Strandbergs? Could I have dinner at Alec's house and at the Strandbergs? Can I have cake at Alec's party and still have the dessert you made for tonight?" You get the idea. Of course I couldn't answer any of these questions, and yet he continued asking them, over and over and over. At this point with all this going on at least the hygienist quit telling me to not let Reagan fall on the floor. I'm thinking at this point she was probably wishing she could fall on the floor.

I'm not sure I've ever had such a fast cleaning. She actually didn't even floss my top teeth. I also don't think the fluoride was in long enough, but it was good enough because Reagan finally succeeded at grabbing something and it was the tube that connects the little sucker thing that you hold in your mouth while you have the fluoride trays in your mouth. So I just had the tube, but no sucking was going on. It was a miracle I didn't throw up because one of the leftovers from 4 pregnancies is that I can no longer tolerate anything in my mouth that isn't food without gagging. It sounds like a silly thing, but you know how you put a comb in your mouth when you are putting a pony tail in a little girls hair, or a hanger between your teeth if your hanging something up and buttoning it also? Can't do those things anymore without gagging. Oh, you shouldn't put things like that in your mouth you say? Well, whatever. I can't do it anymore and the comb thing is especially frustrating. So all that to say the flouride trays without the sucker thing just about did me in.

Finally I was done, Ainsley was finished and so the boys both took our places. Andrew was just about finished so I took the girls home so I could tutor and left Andrew there with the boys in the chairs. As I left Camden was asking if they could make the chair go up and down and up and down.

As I have sat down to write this I realize I never actually even asked Andrew how the boys did. For all I know they have ten cavities each. What I do know from their visit is that one of them brought home a whoopee (how do you spell that?) cushion that they are fighting over every chance they get. But the thing is, we get to check "dentist" off our list for the next 6 months.


Anonymous said...

Phew! I am exhausted for you!

Wilson Family said...

Wow!! In six months, call me and I'll watch Reagan for you! Seriously, would love to help!! =)

Mars said...

Yeah Tiffany, 2 words: Baby. Sitter.
Ugh! That sounds like torture - and going to the dentist by itself is torture enough for me!!! ;)

tlc said...

I can totally picture the whole event. It was great that you also got some friendly parenting advice while you were there. She probably questioned your ability to reason through the safety issues for Reagan since you brought EVERYONE with you. :-) I like the commando style/do or die scenario, though. Why keep all the fun to yourself? I'm glad that Andrew could share in at least a little bit of the fun. Apparently his teeth weren't exciting enough to count!? Oh well, maybe next time!