Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The joys of DEQ

So all three of our cars tags expire this month. Fun. I started with taking the van (I still have a hard time swallowing the fact that I personally am the driver of a mini-van...then I open the side doors with the remote so my little kids can get in and out all on their own and I'm more okay with it.) The van passes. Great. Next up the truck. We bought the truck off craigslist this summer (I love craigslist) so we could quite borrowing our friends trucks to carry stuff around. It is a real beauty- but the point was a cheap truck. We got that.

I thought the worst thing that could happen is it not passing, but while I'm sitting there the lady is walking around it with a stick that has a mirror on the bottom looking underneath it, then she calls over someone else, and then someone else. At this point (after it only taking 2 minutes this morning for the van) I know something is wrong. I immediately go to the most rational possibility... there must be a bomb underneath, that is why they are looking with the mirror. Quickly talk myself out of that because it is ridiculous. So I go to the next most rational possibility. The truck that we thought we legitimately purchased actually was stolen, (who would steal a '91 Chevy and then sell it for $800?... but that is what I'm thinking) and now they are going to arrest me right there and some social worker is going to come and take my child because he is with me in the car. I start thinking that at least it is only Camden with me, and he is too young to have any memory if he is taken into protective custody and will probably think it is interesting if a police car shows up (I told you I was being COMPLETELY RATIONAL at this point.)

But I'm supposed to pick Hudson up from preschool in 35 minutes, what will happen to him? I get out my cell phone to start calling people and freaking out to have someone go get Hudson... in 35 minutes, only to determine that my cell phone is dead. So now I'm a felon of a mother who can't even remember to charge her stupid cell phone, I'm going to have to use my one phone call at the police station to get Hudson picked up. My mind is going in great places.

At this moment the interesting DEQ lady comes to the window and tells me, "Well, it actually passes the emissions test, but the truck doesn't have a catalytic converter so that makes it an automatic FAIL." So I ask, "What does the catalytic converter do?" She explains something about it making it produce less pollution. I say, "but it passed without it, so why does it need it?" And then typical government, "Because that is just the requirement."

Okay- so our truck that we drive a couple times a month to drop off yard debris and already passes the emissions requirement needs to have work done on it just for the requirement. Guess how much it will cost to have it put on there... $350! (at least we have the greatest mechanic ever in Randy Kosrow). You just gotta love the government. I guess at least I'm not in jail because I was driving a stolen car.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love your stories! Thanks for the good laugh! Heather

Tennille said...

Wow...we don't have DEQ here in Minnesota, so I am completely convinced that they only have DEQ in Oregon to make some more money for the state. Apparently nobody here in Minnesota cares about the environment (like me) or they are not smart enough to think of ways to nickel and dime people. Thanks Minnesota! Congrats on not being in jail - I am sure you picked up Hudson just in time! Love you, Tennille

Jenne said...

My cell phone is almost always dead on the days I think I am going to be taken to jail, too. Weird.

Pate Family said...

When have you thought you were going to jail Jenne??? I'm so curious!

Anonymous said...

I've often thought Catalytic Converter would be an awesome Christian band name. Sorry you had to buy one!
Katie

Jenne said...

I think I will need to plead the fifth on that one, Tiff. Tee Hee. I am a troublemaker...